Seven Years After Kate Spade’s Suicide, Her Best Friend Finally Tells Her Story (Exclusive)

It’s taken Elyce Arons seven years to write about her best friend, Kate Spade, who died by suicide on June 5, 2018 in her Park Avenue apartment. From the time they met as 18-year-old college freshmen, through their years creating the handbag line that became a sensation, they were nearly inseparable.

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But there was another Katy (as Arons called her) that the world never saw. “She was highly sensitive and felt things more deeply than most,” says Arons. Her new memoir We Might Just Make It After All, reveals their intimate friendship and a glimpse at Spade’s private struggles. Losing her, says Arons, is “a permanent ache.”

Below in an exclusive excerpt from We Just Might Make It After All, Arons shares memories of her beloved friend.

On June 9, 2018, four days after my best friend of 37 years took her own life, I had to go to her Park Avenue apartment to pick up some of my clothes from her closet. As soon as I walked in, I felt on edge. Katy usually left every light on 24⁄7 and kept her drapes tied open. Since her death, paparazzi had been stationed outside. For privacy, someone had closed the drapes and turned off the lights.

I headed for her bedroom, the room where it happened. The usual bright, colorful room was dim and disheveled, so uncharacteristic of the tidy space I knew. Discarded paperwork from the medics who responded to Katy’s housekeeper’s 911 call lay strewn across the floor. 

I was still in disbelief that Katy was really gone. We’d pulled some very elaborate pranks over the years. We loved scaring people, mostly ourselves. It was one of the personality quirks we shared. As I put my hand on the closet door handle, I couldn’t help but think Katy was going to jump out of the closet and scare the s— out of me.

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The hairs at the back of my neck stood up as I held my breath and opened the door. Hundreds of moths flew out in a black wave, coming right at me. 

I shrieked, stumbled backward and yelled at the empty room, “If you’re doing this, Katy, this time, it’s not funny!” I bent over to catch my breath. Katy had never put mothballs in her closet because of the smell. [My friend] hadn’t planned this moth assault. She was really and truly gone. 

In August 1981 Elyce met Katy Brosnahan for the first time on dorm move-in day at the University of Kansas.

Once every mini-fridge was plugged in, we started getting ready for our first frat party. The college had distributed welcome bags that included Virginia Slims cigarettes (can you imagine that now?), Wella Balsam shampoo and Shower to Shower talcum powder. All the girls were lined up at bathroom mirrors. Katy sniffed in my direction. “Oh my God, did you use that powder they gave us?” she asked. “Um, yes.” “Don’t you think it smells like a gas station bathroom?” She looked at me in the mirror we were sharing, held her nose and crossed her eyes. 

Elyce and Katy transferred to Arizona State University, where Katy met her future husband, Andy Spade. After graduating in the mid-’80s, they moved to Manhattan, where Katy worked at Mademoiselle magazine, Elyce at a French denim brand and Andy in advertising. After leaving Mademoiselle in 1992, Katy had an idea.

Katy often could not find just the right handbag for a particular fashion shoot. On the high end of the spectrum, there were leather handbags with complex designs. Beautiful and expensive. On the other end were ultra-chic minimalist evening bags. A solution started brewing in her mind. 

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By 1993 Katy, Elyce, Andy and their friend Pamela Bell decided to go into the handbag business.
(Katy on design, Elyce on marketing and business development, Andy on creative direction and Pamela on production.) 

It was time to name the baby. Andy’s idea was to combine Katy’s first name with his last name—Katy became “Kate” because Andy liked the rhythm of two one-syllable words together. Katy liked it a lot, too, but her shyness made her cautious. “Don’t expect me to be Kate Spade!” she said when we first agreed on the name, and many times after that.

The handbags took off, and in 1995, they were nominated for a CFDA award. 

We posed on the red carpet along with fashion royalty Donna Karan, Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein. I felt like at any moment, security would come by and say, “Hey! Who are those punks?!”

Katy was being especially quiet. I know she was secretly hoping we wouldn’t win just so she could avoid the short acceptance speech. When it was time for the Perry Ellis Award for New Fashion Talent, Katy was clutching both mine and Andy’s hands under the table. When the winner was announced—KATE SPADE!—I thought I would burst with jubilation. After a pause, Katy smiled and killed it with the short and sweet thank-you speech. 

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In 1999 they sold 56 percent of the company to Neiman Marcus but continued to manage the business. It expanded to stationery, eyewear and, in 2002, a fragrance, which Katy, as the face of the brand, promoted on a national tour.

Katy called me late one night from somewhere out west. “I can’t talk for long,” she said. “I have to get up at 5 in the morning to do a show, and then it’s interviews all day.” 

“How are you?” She had enough energy to sound angry. “Not great! And I know it’s not your fault, but I feel abandoned by you. You guys got me into this. You should be doing this tour with me.” I did feel terrible that we had laid this weight all on Katy’s shoulders. It was the first time she had said anything. At one point, I had thought, How hard can it be to chat and smile? I had no idea because I’d never done it. 

In 2006, after they sold the brand in full, the four partners celebrated in Cabo San Lucas.

Katy and I had often joked about being in our eighties, finally learning to play bridge, telling our stories and reminiscing. On our last night in Cabo, Katy and I stole away for a sunset cocktail by the beach. We both ordered margaritas.

“So what’s next?” I asked. Katy replied, “Whatever it is, we’ll do it together.”

After Katy moved uptown, they saw less of each other, and Elyce sensed a growing distance. Still, they wanted to work together again. In 2016 they launched Frances Valentine, but two years later Katy was gone. With more questions than answers, Elyce is still learning to cope with her grief.

All of us who loved her have had to find a way to make peace with her incomprehensible choice. It’s not been easy. I’ve learned to never take the people whom I care about for granted. As I tell
my closest friends: Go to your sister or your best girlfriend who’s just like a sister to you. Go to her today and hug her so hard that it’s like you won’t ever let her go.

Excerpted from We Might Just Make It After All: My Best Friendship With Kate Spade by Elyce Arons. Copyright 2025 © by Elyce Arons. Reprinted by permission of Gallery Books, an Imprint of Simon & Schuster, LLC.

 If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.

We Might Just Make It After All: My Best Friendship With Kate Spade by Elyce Arons is one sale June 17 and available for preorder, wherever books are sold.